How to Beat and Conquer Your Dark Side

Highlights From This Entrepreneur Interview

To beat the dark side

  • Admit you have one
  • Shed light on it
  • Target and work on it

Start young and work

  • Read books
  • Do seminars
  • Get experience

You have to let go

  • Of knowing it all
  • Of bitterness
  • Of anger

Pay attention

  • Listen to the world
  • Learn from lessons
  • To successful people

Don’t blame others

  • Blame yourself
  • Take ownership
  • Write it all down

@MaydelliMendoza

@MaydelliMendoza

šŸ¦‹Undocumented Warrior
šŸ’«Conscious Entrepreneur
āœØLife Coach
āœŠšŸ½Advocate
šŸŽ¤Speaker
@undocu_healing
@rawlovebymay
@lavishlovebymay
@satorispiritualretreats

maydellimendoza.com
instagram.com/maydellimendoza

Maydelli & Eddie Entrepreneur Interview Transcript

0:00
What’s going on everyone, Mr. Eddie Flores here, and we’re doing a East storia. That’s Spanish for story. And today I’m with my belly. And who better who better than to tell a story than the person who’s lived it themselves. So having that said, I’m going to sit back, just let her tell her story. And we’re going to be chiming in on things that are very important. And we hope you guys enjoy this episode, my belly. Take it away.

0:26
Thank you so much, Eddie. It’s such a pleasure to be here with you today and sharing my story. I want to start by saying, I am an undocumented warrior turned conscious entrepreneur. And I’m 33 years old, I grew up half of my life in California, the other half in Utah. I moved when I was 10. As you can imagine, it was a culture shock for me to to grow up in such such a area where there was not people like myself,

0:51
what was the biggest culture shock right there, like what really got to you? What shocked you the most,

0:57
that nobody looked like me that everybody was colored eyes, and Caucasian, and that they couldn’t pronounce my name? rather the biggest? That was the biggest thing. They would call me meat deli.

1:11
And

1:15
make you feel though, on some real stuff, like, how did that make you feel in that culture shock? Because you were young at the time, right?

1:21
I was 10 years old. I was like, I don’t know what they’re talking about. You assume I really know. And so it for for everybody was like me deli, meat deli. And so the teacher would tell me now, from now on moving forward, your name is going to be made out? Wow. So people can pronounce it correctly. And so that I was stripped of my identity at that point. I didn’t really? Yeah, I didn’t realize that at the moment. And years later, I was like, ooh, like, I gave my power away. Right at that. allowing people to call me what is convenient for them. And now what my real name was, is it’s

2:01
all that happens when you’re young, how you don’t see those things. But what as you get older, you see what really happened? Because that that’s so easy to overlook, like, it’s just a name, who cares? No matter who you are. That’s great. Yeah, that’s it. Yes.

2:16
Okay. And my mom named me my belly for a reason. Like she wanted me to be unique. And it has a specific meaning. It means Ellucian. And so, for me, it was like they stripped me of my identity. And that was just the beginning of many other hurdles that happen. From the moment I was 10. To the moment I was set up in team, you know, obviously, being the only Latina, the only Latina that graduated class of 2004. In Springdale, high school. I was one of four that graduated. I remember my counselor telling me, you know, where do you want to go to school asking me those questions. And I told her I wanted to go to Harvard, because I wanted to be the first Mexican President of the United States of America. Yeah, I love it. My dad was very big on making me dream big. He gave me a lot of books and a lot of materials to read. I was reading Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad, Poor Dad at 1213 years old. So

3:18
I read that at age 32.

3:23
So Young, so what do

3:25
you got that from? That’s awesome. Like, how did that come to be? How did that come?

3:31
About my dad. My dad has always been very driven. And he read Wayne Dyer, to Sona said erroneous in Spanish when he was 17. So he had that mentality. He was searching for something more. And I think that he transferred to me, as I was growing up, he gave me Kabbalah he gave me business books, Richest Man of Babylon. He just gave me so many books that really shaped my life. I didn’t understand that, at that precise moment. He was feeding me knowledge, right?

4:05
Wow,

4:06
bless. That’s hashtag blessed right there. Does that to you? Like you take it for granted so much as a kid, but again, when you get older, you’re like, Wow, he taught me a legacy. Like that’s super super. And what about mom, if you don’t mind me asking, did mom go on board with that? Or there’s fighting? They’re like, well, ha, how did that go down? How did that go? No,

4:26
no, no, not at all. My mom does didn’t understand at all what he was trying to teach me. She just allow him to just give me that. She was kind of like the one that pampered me that gave me the love, right that it was more of a tough, you know, tough, tough love. But it was a nice compliment.

4:45
And both the best of both worlds right there. I

4:47
got the best of both worlds. It was when I turned 17 and I was prepping to go to college. And you realize, you know, this counselor was asking me where do you want to go to school I said Harvard and she told me You can do that. It’s too expensive. Oh,

5:04
and your blood boil. What did that do? Like? Did that shutter you? Or did that drive you? What did that do? Honestly, what did that do?

5:10
Honestly, I was mad. At that point. I was like, excuse me, you’re not gonna tell me where or what I can do. Because my dad had already taught me this way of thinking, Wow, you said something important. You’re dead prepared you for that moment. Yeah.

5:25
Because most people say your that you always just were taught to dream big, but you didn’t back it up with books, education, knowledge, you just were told, hey, dream, you can be whatever you want. But you didn’t have the work ethic that would literally break you at that point. Like when they say no, that usually shatter someone when they go, ha, I can’t. But since you read books, since you educated yourself, since you got that knowledge, you probably were like, hell no, like No way. Like, I read books, I kind of know what I need to do. And I say, kind of because you really don’t know what

5:56
you need to do. Yeah,

5:58
like, No, I just need to be persistent. I need to ask a question. So really dive deep in that moment right there, because I think it’s going to help the audience, where when you feel that moment, you either break or you either grow, or you chose to grow, cook, take us back to that moment where your blood boiled, how did you feel and what was going through your head,

6:19
I remember that I got really red in the face, because I still can remember the sensation in my face of like really upset because that you also are taught that you needed to be, I needed to be respectful, or you know, she was older than me. Um, so in my head, I was creating the strategy as how to be the nicest, polite, but assertive at the same time. So I my body was my body was my blood was boiling. And I was really upset. And I was like, I’m gonna make it. And she’s like, Well, did you mean you can because you’re undocumented. And I was like, What? What is this lady talking about? What is undocumented mean? I didn’t even know what that word meant. So she didn’t say undocumented. She said, You’re illegal. Wow. She used a very like negative word. And I remember thinking, like, I didn’t know how to manage that. I just knew that whatever she was telling me was not true. For me. That was a reflection of her and her frustrations. And I knew this very young. And now I think about it. And I’m like, Wow, that’s really powerful, is what came after. Because you can have a lot of drive, you can have a lot of knowledge. My dad did prepare me for this moment. Yeah, but but moving forward, and realizing you’re undocumented, you’re illegal, right? I hated using the word. But that’s what the word, the word that was used in 2004, where I couldn’t really go to school. You know, I couldn’t I didn’t have a social security number. I couldn’t go to school, especially in Utah. So much, so so much, so much hurdle. Yeah. But I remember thinking, I’m gonna figure it out. So I remember going, you know, on my space, and, you know, checking out, like, there has to be more people like me out there. And I started reading that there was this thing that I could come to school here in California, okay, that I could go. It’s called av 540. And they had just recently approved it. So that meant that if you graduated from high school, in small print that I didn’t read in California, you could go to college, I didn’t read that. And I just packed my bags. And I just moved to LA by myself at seven. Oh, hold, were you at this a 17 day.

8:40
That’s so crazy. So you packed your stuff? Did parents nor did you suppress parents and just left?

8:46
No, no. Um, so I told my dad, I want to pursue higher education, you know, this, this, this thing of me not having you know, documentations to be legally in the states is not going to stop me at all wanted me to stay in Utah. But he wanted me to do things a certain way. But my vision was I want to go to an Ivy League school. And what better way than to be close to that Ivy League school? So if I move to LA, I’m going to be close to UCLA Stanford, and I’m going to be able to you know, proximity is power and I always say that proximity is power and I understood that very young age so I moved myself out here he would didn’t agree with they both support it. Now. I understand

9:25
that for them. I know. I know. You probably don’t talk too much about this, but what was the conversations with your dad like, like that whole back cuz your dad sounds like a powerful dude. how harsh and powerful were those fights where you like, really had to convince them and you said No, papa. I’m gonna go do it. Like how hard was that?

9:45
Well, thank you so much for asking that question nobody has ever asked. Yes, the the conversations were very tough. And we got at it very, very, very aggressively. To the point that he told me if you leave you will not get any help from me. If you don’t have food to eat, if you don’t have money for gas, I am not going to help you because you just made a decision that goes against what I want you to do.

10:09
Oh, dude, that is hard. That is hard. Love the man. But and that’s kind of like that moment again, you were like, do I break? Or do I grow? Now with this one? I’m pretty sure that that one was a tougher choice I want to pick How did you do that? That’s crazy. Did you sit on your ways? And you just said, um, I just need to do this. Like, how did you get past

10:33
that? Because that commerce No, ops is tough. That’s tough. Yeah, I think my vision of like the man he was or he is and Utah, everybody knew him, I knew that I wasn’t never gonna be able to say that I was undocumented. And I didn’t want to be in a cookie box, God, and I was always a visionary. So I saw myself like, I wasn’t going to be able to thrive in a place that was very cookie cutter that believe a certain way. So I didn’t want to fight. And he wanted me to stay. And I said, No, but But see, that’s the thing. That’s the double edged sword that you didn’t understand.

11:14
He gave the salad. He’s like,

11:16
you have this coming. Like he, here’s the funny thing. And I know it’s gonna happen with my kids, I’m gonna teach them these skill sets to like, Hey, you need to push hard, you need to be better. And there’s gonna be a point where they’re gonna do their own thing. And it may go against with what you kind of want them to do. But they need to do that. So I’m glad that you’re here. And yeah, let’s keep the story rolling. This is good.

11:39
This is good.

11:40
So I moved to LA. And yeah, it was tough. It was tough because I couldn’t get a job because I didn’t have you know, work permit or a legal way to work. And I, the school, you know, college was tough for me, I ended up going to East LA college, it was very tough for me. And then I was diagnosed months later with depression. Got it. And I didn’t understand that the what depression was, and then I started getting really sick. I was constantly sick all the time. physically sick, physically.

12:14
And you think this happened, um, when you moved to LA, like when you went there? Is that when, like all that triggered?

12:22
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Now, now looking back, yeah, it was the bitterness, the resentment of me being undocumented, and me trying to blame somebody, which in this case was my dad, he was to blame. You know, I’m not, I’m not legal in the United States because of him. So that

12:41
anger, got

12:42
bailed up and got me sick. So that’s what happens, you know, you hold on to a sentiment that’s negatively vibrating. And it encapsulates and it literally, literally destroys your immune system. And that’s what happened to me. And I was constantly sick with the flu. You know, I was called, you know, my immune system was horrible. And then, you know, months later, depression, you know, I was upset, I was angry. I was having these outbursts of anger. I was crying all the time. And it was a moment where he told me, you either come back, oh, you’re gonna fight this on your own? And a dad bad point. I did not go back.

13:24
Wow. Well, because he told me to get you back. Like he was on saying, hey, I need to come back. Wow, that’s

13:31
great. You need to come back. You’re saying you can support yourself, you have to come back? Or if you don’t listen, then you’re gonna have to go through this on your own. And I didn’t. And I didn’t I didn’t go back. It actually, it made me be more driven. Okay, so yes, I know.

13:50
So yeah, built you up at that point where you’re like, I need to make this work now.

13:55
I need to make it work. But I couldn’t go the conventional route of going to therapy and getting medication because I was undocumented. And I didn’t qualify for you know, any, any health insurance. I did not have the money for it. And I bet at that point, I searched for a holistic approach, which wasn’t as popular as it is today. So I asked to healing. And so

14:21
we’re we know that during the time of the internet, like when you were researching this, like whole whole new was, has been around for a while because I know, internet just came out not too long ago, if we really break Yeah, yeah, I’m the new. So like, how far along was the internet? Would you say when you started researching that stuff? Because I feel like information is so easy to find today. But back then, it was a lot of work

14:42
back then. No. Yeah, it was. I mean, it just started I mean, three, four years, like so. It was very Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was very, very fresh. So

14:53
how’d you find I

14:54
didn’t. I didn’t find it in the internet actually. God I love I’m a big connector. I’m a big guy always been a very spiritual person ever since I was a little girl that I had conversations with, with hi yourself with with God, you know, with the name you want. And I remember saying, send me help send me help because I don’t know what to do at this point send help. That’s literally what I said in Spanish because I speak to a higher self. And I met a friend and her my friend had a an A, or a cousin, I believe, that was living in El Segundo, that was doing yoga that was going to this temple in Pacific Palisades as well. And she said, You know what, Mike? My, my cousin’s always very happy, very positive. Let’s ask her what she suggest, because I think she can have an answer for us. So we did, we went to El Segundo. And she’s like, Girls, come on, come to my yoga class, come to come to, you know, a Sunday service. In Pacific Palisades. There’s this place called the Self Realization fellowship, which there’s one in San Diego as well. And I remember we went and I would, I would get really upset because we walked in there and I was like, a bunch of white rich people. And it reminds me of Utah. Yeah. It just over again. Ha, my belly, my. And I was, I was like, Oh my god, here we go, again, like deja vu all over again. And I remember thinking, Oh, my God, these people are happy because they have everything. They were born here, they’re rich, and I wouldn’t be happy to if I had their life. Okay, right. And I didn’t understand because I was so bitter. I was bitter at seeing other people happy because I wasn’t happy inside. I was happy outside, but I was unhappy inside. And that’s how what started my spiritual journey, that that me going to that place and searching and starting reading. And and starting by the vibration of people you surround yourself with is definitely a turning point, whether you want to admit it or not. And I’m not saying that me going to that place is because they you know, they’re from a different nationality or a different race, that they’re better than us. But sometimes they have access to information that as Latinos we don’t.

17:22
that’s keeping your one. Because there’s nationalities in classes that are underprivileged, that don’t have the resources that it’s true. Some classes do have it that’s being 100% real, and what you said earlier, there’s a simple thing to it. You are what you eat, you are what you put yourself in, and you are the people you surround yourself with, like all that. People call it vibrations. People call it like manifestations. There’s so many words, but it’s all the same thing. It’s whatever’s around you. It’s gonna consume, it’s going to be you whatever’s around you. So if you eat a lot of junk food, your body is going to be junk. If you hang around with crackheads, you’re going to be doing crack. If you hang around with people who read books, Robert Kiyosaki, they go to masterminds, you become that it’s crazy. Like people take that for granted. I feel so spiritual journey you went there. And what really set it off for you like what was the the lightbulb moment where you went, Oh, shit, like, you know what I mean? That one moment where you knew you were like, really in it? Because I know that was the start. But where did that really connect and like really hit you in your heart.

18:23
It was that day.

18:25
That day, was

18:26
that that day because we went into the service. And we went into the Sunday service. And they literally showed us, like, guided us in a meditation. Wow, close our eyes. And I remember my eyes were like twinkling because I wanted to open my eyes so bad. Like,

18:42
you’re like you’re like, Okay,

18:44
and now I understand that I was going through so much trauma that my body just my mind, my body might physically I couldn’t stand still. And at that moment, and I was sitting with myself and I was sitting with with everything, the emotions, the anger, I was sitting with it, and I saw it all and they felt it all.

19:05
Wow. So you felt it day one. That’s powerful. That’s really wonderful.

19:09
Day one. I felt it. And it was because I feel like I had a connection with with higher self. And at that moment, somebody just guided me. Somebody just went Close your eyes and take a deep breath, which I think now looking back I haven’t I hadn’t taken deep breaths in months. shallow breathing is true. We always breathe short breath. A lot of us that when no one does this.

19:37
I don’t know, buddy. No one does. No, but no, like everyone’s just like, I need a social media. It’s crazy. Someone. Yes.

19:48
It’s so true. And so for me at that moment, realizing maybe I had a year without even breathing deeply.

19:55
Wow.

19:56
That I went in there and it was just calm and it was peaceful. And it was like, everything just came into place. Obviously, there was a lot of chaos going on, there was a lot of hurdles that I had to go through. But that was the beginning of something amazing. Then, because of that vibration, I attracted a lot of people into my life, one of which was like, you need to change your eating habits. What are you having for breakfast, you know, I was attracting all these people into my life at 19 years old, that were my mentors, you know, that particular person that helped me realize what you put in your body is gold, like, you need to make sure that you are putting nutrients in your body. He was also the person that I worked for, as a personal assistant, that he ended up taking me to this, like personal development seminar,

20:46
oh, you’re lucky that well, not lucky, you’re in the right place at the right time. But the right time decision happened though, like, if you had made all those steps, if you hadn’t said no to dad, if you hadn’t said to that person, I’m going to show you up if you hadn’t packed your bags, none of this wouldn’t happen. That’s the crazy man don’t get in life is that things happen for a reason, like every single day for a reason. And all those steps equals this now, while you’re doing this, where you’re doing school, that’s where I’m a little years

21:14
old doing school down, I was still and that’s where my entrepreneurial journey also began. Because Tell me about that. I, I ended up doing a multi level marketing, okay, that I joined. And that’s, you know, it was a nutrition company, or it is a nutrition company. And that’s where I started personal development. And, you know, making sure what I was eating was was good for my body, high vibrational foods. Now I look back and I’m like, Well, obviously, you know, I was surrounding myself with really positive people. I was eating right, I was drinking enough water. I was doing deep breathing. And

21:49
yeah,

21:50
you know, all these things that I was doing, but I was also going to school. This was just a mean of extra income so that I could pay for books.

21:57
Yeah. Yeah. But it was an entrepreneur entrepreneurs. Number one, because you said you’ve done multiple entrepreneur.

22:04
Yeah, that’s number one.

22:05
Yeah. So that’s number one. Now that MLM, what was the biggest takeaway you got from that? Like working MLM because I feel like a lot of people when they hear MLM they’re like a pyramid scheme. But I’ll tell you this, the reason why people call them pyramid schemes, is because it’s easy to blame someone else. They says, that’s a pyramid scheme. They’re all like that. No, bitch, it’s because you know, it’s failed. And you can’t eat that a lot of people can eat their failures. Most people don’t succeed, because they don’t want to grow personally, they don’t want to call, they do not want to do sales. Everyone hates sales. Like they feel icky. There’s a right way to do it. And I teach that. But the cool thing is, they failed at those three things. So in MLM I like them, because it’s the cheapest way to practice business. Like your overhead is 200 bucks, 300 bucks. You don’t have to play employee salary, you don’t have rent to pay for you don’t have equipment to pay for. It’s great practice. It’s great practice. So for me, I would say MLM, the biggest thing that I like about them, is it gives you practice to see if you’ve got what it takes in.

23:08
Absolutely.

23:10
How about for you?

23:11
So let me just say that everything that you do in life is sales. Let me just start with that. So you have to sell yourself, even in a job. Everything sells. Okay, so let’s get out of the stigma of I don’t like sales, excuse me, everything in life is sales, even when you’re fighting for a job. So that’s number one. And number and number two, yes, it is the cheapest way to learn if you got it. And at that moment at that precise moment, and I was playing be a businesswoman. Yo, but there was a lot of things that I needed to work on myself.

23:41
Yeah.

23:43
Business is working on yourself.

23:46
Exactly. And, and I was doing everything that were telling me to do and my business wasn’t thriving. And I look back to think about it and I love mlms I people can talk about about them, but I love them. And I will tell you why I love them. Because they made me see the bad and the ugly of me that I needed to work on.

24:06
Yes, it uncovers the truth of you.

24:09
It uncovers the truth. Because it’s like a mirror you will attract into your business the person that you are

24:16
Yes, indeed 1,000%. I agree.

24:19
And so for me, that’s what it was. I had people in my team that weren’t doing the inner work that had a lot of personal problems that had a lot of anger. I was attracting that because that’s who I was, as much as I could fake it. And I could be like, I’m reading all these books, which I was I was taking in a lot of personal development. I was going to school. in certain areas of my life. My life was amazing. But inside of me, that anger, the resentment, the bitterness. It was still there. So my vibration was attracting those type of people, people that weren’t committed fully. They just want to fake it till they make it and that doesn’t work.

24:56
Oh my god, you hit something so big and it just clicked in me, I never thought about this. But when I first started my MLM it was with vector marketing so selling knives door to door. I was good at it because I’ve always been a people person. But there was one thing that I noticed that I attracted to myself was other people that bitch about the whole like, Oh, this is like so salesy. Like I thought that deep down in my, in my heart of hearts, like I would always say, this sales that I don’t like it so sleazy, I have to call my Thea and like, do this and ask for referrals. This is icky. What that really translates to, like you said, it’s the mirror. It was a reflection of just fear. I was scared to ask people outside of my circle, I was scared to ask for the sale, I was scared to see if I deserve more money. Because in my pegs in my head, there’s always an underlying thing. And most people just see it at surface level of like, Man, this company’s weird, they’re asking me to call my parents and like, my cousin’s might be us. Yeah, that’s to like, work on yourself. But most people won’t dig that deep and say, What I really am is scared. And that’s what I was doing. And now I’m not scared. Like I’m doing these interviews. I’m starting to meet new people shake hands, talk to CEOs III confidently, whereas before, I was a scared man, I was when I was first starting my businesses. I was fearful of judgment. Fear was my jailer. So were you would you say? Was it the hatred? That was the resentment? Was that your jailer for back then?

26:24
Yeah, yeah, I think it was. Yes, absolutely. It was, it was I want to make it because I want it to make a big at that point is when I saw that I could become a millionaire. That was the first time that I saw that I could be a millionaire by helping people because that was the basis of all the businesses that I now have was that moment that I want to believe in the thing that I’m doing. I’m not only selling you something, I’m selling you something that I personally absolutely love. Exactly. Right. And that was the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey. And obviously, throughout the years, I have added different elements to it. But I think the biggest takeaway, it was about showing me about myself, yeah, it made me It made me see things about myself, that if you don’t, the more that you work on yourself, the more your business will thrive. It’s not about luck. It’s about the harder I work, the luckier I get. Right, but it’s the harder you work, they forget to tell you the harder you work on yourself.

27:21
Yeah,

27:22
yeah, cuz people do this. And this is going to be so valuable for everyone. Most people say they’ve been in business for eight years. But the funny thing is, most people have been in year one. And I think it’s Billie Jean is marketing, who says it best is that you’ve been working on year one in your business for eight years, but you just like doing the same thing over and over and over and not growing. And when he said that I was damn like, that’s deep. Because most people do the same thing. I have a referral program, people come to me on my website, I ain’t gonna touch it. It’s not broken. They’re not growing, they’re not pushing themselves. They’re not learning social media, they’re not learning to do video, they’re not learning how to sell. They’re not learning how to be more confident. They’re not learning how to hire, they’re just comfortable there. There’s set and that like what we talked about before we got on the show is I hate being comfortable. Like that’s my mission in life is to make people uncomfortable, especially in the middle class. So that’s really cool. So that’s your first baby in business. Now tell us like, how did you finish school? Did you just jump to entrepreneurship? Where are we now during that time face?

28:25
So now, fast forward, I graduated with my degree in 2015 from East LA college. I then pursued my BA in Kelsey Dominguez Hills, which I graduated fall of 2017. And

28:39
let’s not forget once again, How the hell did that make you feel when you got the A? all that shit? After all? You feel the truth? Didn’t Did you? Were you like I want more? Like what was your mind that?

28:52
I was I was mad that it took me long.

28:55
That ambitious girl, she’s like, I’m just not that long.

28:59
Yeah, I didn’t even go to I didn’t even go to my graduation because I was so upset. Like, it wasn’t good enough for me. And I didn’t understand that I needed to celebrate those small wins. Even though for me it was nothing because until I got my BA but this is the thing when I got my BA that wasn’t enough, either. Wow. Because then at that point, it was like, and now I want to get my MA You know, my MA, and then by the time and then I understood this pattern. After that ma I would want to get a PhD It was never going to be enough. And

29:30
that’s that’s that could be pretty harsh on yourself. Because what you said is huge. When you can’t celebrate when you when the little ones that could lead to something called like perfection where you’d like want to provide. There’s no such thing. So how did you beat that? Like, when did you come to terms where you said, I’m happy now when when did that happen? When did that happen?

29:48
I think I think that that was just recently because after I graduated I couldn’t I couldn’t get a job and I wasn’t hireable I was either overqualified or not qualified at all because in doing That time I was working as a server to pay for college. No, I was working as a server. So I had no experience, I got a BA in sociology, I wanted to work. I knew that I wanted to work with people, I knew I wanted to be a therapist, I wanted to, you know, be a motivational speaker. That’s what I wanted to do. But I was going to work at the county to be a social worker, and I couldn’t get a job. And for three years at EA, I tried and tried and tried and tried. And this is me being stubborn again, me trying to go where I thought I needed to go. But now we’re like, what I need to go Oh, when I suppose

30:35
that is the right there. Because we think we know but we really don’t know. Like, it’s crazy. We do not we do not

30:42
know and life will will redirect you redirect you. And if you’re not vigilant about the signs, you will be so stubborn, and you will continue to go in circles until you surrender to what is Yeah. And I and I was like, wow, like I couldn’t I just couldn’t believe like how stubborn I was. Good. Luckily, in 2018, I was lucky enough to find my soulmate. I met my husband, which he was my, my childhood best friend. And he was the one that actually made me see that part of me that I didn’t want to see. Because all this time, I wanted to help other people. I wanted to be this monk, and I wanted to help everybody reach enlightenment. And he came into my life to tell me if you don’t take care of yourself first. You will not be able to take care of nobody.

31:33
D that’s the thing. I tell my missus all the time. It is so true. It’s the whole thing of if your cup does not have water, how the hell could you hydrate Anyone else? Like it’s so crazy? Yes. A lot of people do what you do they, they’re these great people. They’re like pushing the, but their cup is dry. Because they’re like so stubborn. They’re so pushing. They’re so ambitious, that they forget about themselves. And their cup is empty. So when they’re trying to help people, their cup is dry. So they’re pouring air into a homeys cup with Yeah,

32:04
so tell me about that. You man, you must be so thankful for him like that. Just.

32:09
Yeah, that’s so cool. I think and I tell him all the time, you were my angel, because he came into my life, Eddie, to shake me up. Yeah. To to, to grab on a mirror and guy and put it in front of me and say look at it, look at it, because you haven’t poured into your cup in a long time. And it’s about time that you do. So it’s about time that you Stop being stubborn. And that you allow things to just be what they are. And he came me he came into my life, to remind me of the entrepreneur that I always been nice with. And he didn’t tell me anything, which was the best part is him being an entrepreneur himself. Him and the way he lived his life was what inspired me, wow, where I am today to surrender, that I can save everybody else if I don’t save myself first.

33:03
True. So true. So, so true.

33:06
And it took me it took me like the pull and push about, you know, a year and a half for me to wake

33:12
up next time. Can’t do it overnight. You cannot do it now. Unless it’s something so traumatic, where like say someone dies or something so horrible. Most people don’t have that luxury where it takes six months, 8989 months, a year, two years. It’s constant work of pushing and pulling. Because you’re going to win some days, you’re going to lose some days, you’re going to listen to this, you’re going to lose some that you’re going to win some days, you’re going to lose some days. It’s crazy how that works, but nobody wants to lose. So they’ll never even go down that journey because they don’t want to lose. Because we’re adults now and adults don’t lose.

33:44
And, and and we’re in it. We’re a little bit like how I am. I’m stubborn, oh no, I I don’t do that. I don’t think I didn’t take responsibility for certain things. Let’s let’s look at our life. And let’s analyze where we are right now. And we have to take responsibility if we are not where we want to be. There’s things that we need to change, there’s work that we need to do work. And, and a lot of people reach this point of like, oh, no wall, I’m okay. Like I reached I reached. I’m already up there. Like nobody can tell me what to do. Excuse me, you’re 99% of the time you are a student. And that 1% of the time you are a teacher. And if you don’t Humble yourself to realize that then you are not going to move forward in life, which was which was what my husband did for me. He allowed me to see that I needed to take the help from people that wanted to help me reach that next level of my life. And when I did reach it, it was like Wow, now I’m ready for the next step which is why the reason why I now open the although the other businesses that I’ve opened,

34:51
so we’ll get to that we’ll jump into those businesses. But real quick because you talked about filling up your cup, but I have a hunch it and this is just a hunch Couldn’t be horribly wrong. But when you found that yoga place and you stepped in and you close your eyes, and you felt that, I would assume and this is just I feel it’s a feeling that I get that you did give yourself like you were filling your cup of water up at that point, like where you were like, Oh my gosh, like, I’m taking care of myself, and you started healing yourself. Is that safe to say? Or am I horribly wrong? I’m just kidding. All it

35:21
is. It is.

35:22
That’s when you got it started getting breakthroughs. Right? But then again, like as you got older, like you wanted to make the job work and you are forcing and forth. You’re putting trying to put a square in a circle shape, that stubborn thing did you feel like your cup was evaporating during those three years of trying to get the job? Like, you know what I mean? Like, were you still going to the yoga thing and trying to fill up your cup at the same time? While you were doing that? Walk me through that part before we go to the businesses?

35:46
Yes, I was. I was doing a lot of personal development, a lot of business, but I wasn’t looking at the dark side of me.

35:53
Ah, that’s the secret. Okay. Right. Like fixing your inner self like yours?

35:58
Yes. Got it. Yes. Got it. Like I was just I was just like, Oh, yeah, I’m gonna read this book. And I’m gonna do this other book. And I’m gonna go to events. And I’m and I went to a lot of events. Edie if I told you how many events, personal development, healing events that I’ve been to in the last 14 years. And I’ve spent money and time and effort, but I didn’t want to see the dark side. Oh,

36:22
that’s so trippy Did you could not have said that in the perfect time. Because that’s one of my recent breakthroughs is what you’re saying right now is like really facing up and owning up to your own shit, like really owning up to it and saying, I am scared. I am a man. And I’m not providing and it’s okay. But I need to fix this. But most of us, yes. Never say that in your life. Like no guy wants to say I’m scared and I can’t provide for my family. But as soon as I owned up to that, I was like, No, your brain goes well, how can we

36:56
that is that is so powerful it because when you shed light into that dark side of you and your own responsibility, you take it. The universe conspires and says, oh, he learned the lesson. Yeah, let’s provide. Let’s give him the resources. Let’s do it because he learned, but that’s the thing. We as individuals, we think, oh, I’ve gone to so many personal development. I’ve done the work. I want good. No, no, no. Like, let’s continue to look at the dark side of us. And there’s going to be layers and layers that we’re going to have to peel until the day we die. Yep. Until the day we die. If something’s not working for you look at the dark, look at the things that you don’t want to see. Because that is what’s going to lead you to the next level. And that’s what people don’t want to do because they’re afraid. And they and we live in this microwave society. We want everything fast.

37:45
Yeah,

37:46
with we don’t want to cut we don’t want to go through pain. No, oh,

37:49
no. We don’t want to give up. You know how many times I had to give up my apartment, sleeping my car. Um, you know, eat pretty homeless and raise like, there was many times in those 15 years that I had to give up everything. And the ego was like, Oh, I’m not gonna I can’t go from driving a Beemer to driving a Prius. And the ego would trick you. And I get go, you know, I used to live in Redondo Beach. I can go from Redondo Beach with a nice house to add a little room.

38:20
Yeah, the ego does tricky thing. And you got like this good. Like, say, I’m gonna say this guardedness of the fries, if you got godness of the fries, and that’s what you eat. And now you have to eat just rice and beans. Like just that, that that’s a big shift four, that’s tasty. salad, second element. And just that bland taste your brains gonna go I rather want this, like your brain is literally just saying, We deserve this. When in reality, it’s just your body playing a trick on you. It’s your body. Your mind. It’s hijacking your mind where it’s saying you know what, like, we deserve this. No, you really don’t like and it’s just your body trying to get that craving like that crazy name. It’s a weird thing on haul works like that. We could talk for hours for that. But long story short, you’re right. Like you the eagle does trick you that you go does Yeah.

39:08
And it’s it’s just to understand that the mind is trying to protect you, quote unquote. Yep, that’s it. That’s all it’s doing. But it’s your responsibility to say no, wait a minute. If I want to reach to the next level, I need to make myself uncomfortable and stop pretending and actually do the work.

39:25
Mm hmm. It all comes to work at the end of the day.

39:28
And and then when you do that, and you surrender to what is right now and you take life as what it is and what it’s going to give you right now, then that’s when you can move to the next level of your life.

39:40
Oh, that’s another fireball that you said right there is accepting what you have right now. Like right now in the present. That’s so true. Use the tools that you got. Don’t focus on toes you don’t got.

39:50
Exactly, exactly and then you just reinvent yourself constantly and be grateful be grateful for the now because this now will never come back. that journey is what’s going to be the most valuable, not the destination, not the $1 million you strive to achieve. But the person that you will become in the process of you reaching that $1 million milestone.

40:12
Oh yeah. Big time who you become is the gift is like when you get to be some person that’s full of water helping people changing lives. The million dollars is just the cherry on top. Like that’s not Yes, you but that cupcake. That whole vanilla shake is all you?

40:29
Yes, yes. Yes, absolutely. Okay,

40:32
cool. So let’s shift to those businesses that you were talking about. You said you’ve had over six, or you’re on six, how many do you have for No,

40:39
oh, my goodness, I let’s let’s start counting.

40:43
Let’s go pick them off, take them off, go for

40:44
that. So in 2019, I launched lavish love by me, which is my jewelry line, it’s solid, 14 karat gold jewelry line. And that was inspired from a meditation that I was creating for my coaching clients. And it was like passed down. And it’s scaring away from fast fashion. And actually investing in something that will not lose value. Because it’s very important for me, my businesses, the way I choose them is number one, they have to meet certain criteria, they have to be good for the planet, they have to be good for your pocketers a sort of an investment, I steer away from fast fashion, or anything that will harm you know, or pollute the world. And they have to be good for the soul some way somehow. So it’s like a piece of jewelry that eventually you can pass down to your children with a story attached to it. Ah,

41:36
I love that. I love that the story thing and I’m super big on stories like that. Like if you have customers like a beautiful story would be like a grandmother who passed it down to Bryce. Yeah. And it’s going to be worn and she’s going to do the same. That’s awesome. Oh, yes, yes. Cool.

41:52
So that’s one love is love, love, love. So I made that I am a life coach, spiritual life coach. Nice. And I give sessions to people that are struggling that inla and you know, it’s funny, because all of my clients have been women that own businesses,

42:06
you speak to them, you’ve got their language. That’s That’s you. Yeah,

42:09
that’s awesome. So that’s the second and then I have Raul have by me. And Ron live by me has little Zero Waste kits with my own personal design that was designed by a local California artist. And it’s it’s just, you know, zero waste utensils, you know, metal straws, so that we can’t we don’t kill the planet. As Bren. Yeah. And, and then that lavish love by I mean that raw love by May has also like, it’s a vegan Catering Company, which I only cater spiritual retreats.

42:44
So you got like, you’re really connecting all the dots to where your core values are. That’s really

42:49
Yes. Yes. about, you know, superfoods and the way you you high vibrational foods that you eat. So that’s the third one. And then I just recently joined a affiliate company where I promote alkaline water and magic.

43:06
Oh, yeah, that good water. That good? Good.

43:09
Yes. So I became that and then I did Monet, which is a vegan shampoo. That helps, you know, it helps you with with a lot of things, but it’s vegan. It’s I love their their philosophy. It’s an MLM. And so it’s just all these things that I’m doing that all tied together, they have to be vegan, they have to be you know, the company philosophy has to meet a certain criteria for me to for me to do it. So yeah, it sakes and then I recently became an investor in the stocks in the stock market.

43:40
while you sleep is good money. always like, just, just.

43:46
Exactly, exactly. And then I’m now going into real estate, I have a company that we do like kitchen and closet designs. It’s called Alessi lusso home designs, and it’s in partnership with somebody else. And we sell kitchens and closets and everything and then the real estate aspect is of us flipping houses.

44:12
So and that’s so cool. Okay, now, here’s the fun thing. This is the hardest question you’ll ever get into all of those if you were to pick one and just do it for the rest of your life. Which one would that be and why?

44:25
For free? Or for money?

44:28
Just Okay, how about this for free? Just curious my life

44:33
that shows where your hearts are,

44:35
like my life coaching business.

44:38
And you happen to get paid by that. So you’re gonna make money anyways, that’s how it is. And it’s cool that you pick I was hoping you pick that one. I was like, please pick the one that you’re doing because the other ones are other businesses that allow you to make money like the mlms. And those other ones like it’s not fully you like the house flipping. There’s probably partners associated and other people alone, but the coaching is all you it’s your face, it’s putting you on the line. That’s gonna grow you the most. And that’s kind of what I do. Like I do the coaching as well too with the business in the sales, I get the funniness stories from just working with people one to one. And I’ve done other businesses, I’ve done graphic design, web design, SEO, photography, videography, all that stuff. And you don’t get the connection that you do when you really help someone solve a problem like really like the dark and what we’re talking about, like when you do the coaching. We talked about some dark side chip for sure. When I’m yeah, someone’s video. It’s like so cookie cutter shit like, house a transaction like, Oh, hi, my name is Sandra, I have a kids and we’re having a good you don’t really know her. You do not know her. Sandra is really a person who backstabbers who has been backstabbing, because she’s had it been backstabbed her whole life and she’s in this vicious cycle to where she thinks that survival, she needs help. But you’ll never know that until you get her as a client. It’s crazy. Exactly. believe most of us like all that stuff. Like those stories, I love like that to me, I kind of, I’m not gonna do it for free, but I would do it. Because I needed to, but at the end of the day, it’s so empowering. And tell me now what’s your why like you chose that? Why would you do that? Like for the rest of your life? I probably know the answer. But I just want to hear it.

46:19
I would do that for the rest of my life. Because it doesn’t matter what great business opportunity or idea you have, if you are not doing the inner work, which is life coaching and spiritual life coaching allows you to go deep, your business will will not thrive. So that’s where it starts. And honestly, with a life coach that tells you you need to eat properly, you need to drink enough food, you need to go inside and why are you attracting these people that don’t pay you? There’s a reason there’s some scarcity mentality, there’s some, you know, there’s something about your abundance that you have to work on. So I think for me, it starts there.

46:58
I agree.

46:58
It starts there for everybody. And that’s why I love to do it because I can change people’s lives. And I can see them take their business from zero to 100,000 a year. Because they worked on themselves on the parts and the scary parts that nobody has ever questioned. because it requires a lot of work,

47:15
right? It’s like no one, I’m sorry to say this, but out of sorry, audience out of 10 people, probably one of you will push someone to do something great. Probably one an album even safe to say, point 5.25. Most of us have bullshit conversations. We talk about the weather, we talk about our clothes, we talk about the sports, we talk about what’s on TV, we talk about what’s going on in the world. We don’t talk about ourselves.

47:42
Welcome. We’re so quick to help other people. But we’re not quick to help ourselves. So it’s crazy. That to me is very crazy. But let’s just say something if you are talking and you’re giving people that advice, your life better match what it is that you are trying to say you have to be congruent with what you’re saying and how you’re acting. If you there’s no congruency people are going to read through your bullshit. Oh, for sure. I’m like

48:06
big time, big time. When someone says they’re good at sales, and they try to say sell me something. And I see that their shit sucks. Like, you can see that a mile away. So like somebody else. Like I like what you said earlier in the conversation where he said that you were kind of faking it till you make it like you other people know, like, when you’re working on your inner self. And when you’re just on it on fire. I’m pretty sure like when you were first taking on your first clients as the spiritual coach, they weren’t that great, because the first time I coach, it sucked bad and people could read it. What did I do? I failed, and I got better and better and better. And now I could do that literally with my eyes closed. I know what questions to ask. And I know what makes people tick. So like, Did you feel the same thing to work? Yes. And that’s the funny thing, like the whole concurrency thing. It all comes down to this key word that we keep saying over and over. It’s work people. She worked. She worked her ass off her whole life. She did not stop. She did not take no for an answer. She didn’t listen to her that she didn’t let sickness get to her even when she was diagnosed with it with the whole, like the depression thing that is something that literally consumes your life. It really does. And the cool thing is, you overcame that. You overcame that through work. And by challenging your dark self and by higher power stuff. And I know a lot of people don’t like talking about that. But please people let’s talk about that. Higher Power. There is something and what you said I love you can call it whatever you want. But it’s not all you there’s a higher trust. Yeah,

49:39
absolutely. Trust. Yeah,

49:40
absolutely. Big time. Big time. So oh my gosh, we went a lot over but I love it like it was so. So juicy. This is so juicy. So we’ll end it like this. So I know we talked about your businesses, but let’s talk about now the hardest thing we talked about a lot and I saw a lot of hurdles but on some real real real asked you what was the hardest thing out of all this? The hardest thing? And how did you overcome it?

50:07
The hardest thing, the hardest thing was to accept the life that I had was the life that that’s what I had. That was meant for me that I couldn’t wish that I had a better life. I couldn’t wish Oh, I wish I know there, I had to accept and be accepting her was very difficult for me to accept where I was, but that the way that I was born, was definitely not going to be the way I was going to die. Because I was going to leave a legacy. And with that in mind, I that’s what made me push and move forward. But the toughest thing was to see those darks, the stark sights, those things that I was inherited, by my family, by my by my ancestors, because yes, we do have a lot of generally a lot of wisdom within our DNA. We have a lot of wisdom within our DNA. But we also have a lot of baggage from our family that we carry, the way that we the way that we’ve been the way all those things come from our family. But when you when you realize that and you just look at it, and you work at it, and you become a better person consciously gameover it that’s where it all changes. But just accepting that guy. wish I would have had a better data. Yes, I wish I would have would have gone through the hurdles that I went through in my life I wish I would have was born here in the United States. But I wasn’t. And that’s okay. But the life that I was giving, it’s not going to be the life that I’m going to leave behind when I when I when I die. That’s 100% back.

51:32
Yeah, and I think for people do have that. And I’m glad that you chose that as being your hardest thing. Because I honestly truly believe that that’s probably like about I’m gonna guess maybe at least 75% of the United States population cannot accept that, like, where they’re just like, I am not meant to be this, like they’re fighting it tooth and nail. Like, they think their job is where they’re supposed to be. They think when they go to school, like I have to do this. But life’s pulling them in so many directions, and they’re not hearing it, they’re not going with the flow, everyone’s fighting the current. That’s why people are sad. That’s why people hate their jobs. They’re not really giving their mind, body and soul a chance to discover new ways of life, like most people will literally what you said is so crazy. You’re not going to die like that. But some people aren’t going to die doing their shitty job over and over and over again. And that’s just who they are. And it’s sad. And that’s where you get that giant R word regret. And that, to me is like the ultimate failure. And I’m glad that you’re the opposite. Because you’re gonna inspire some, I promise you like, by someone watching this, they’re just gonna go oh my god, I don’t want to die like that, like, you’re gonna talk to someone. And that’s just gonna come up and I can’t wait to hear their story.

52:41
And and I just want to say, if there’s something that’s not sitting well in your gut, if it’s not sitting welling in your body, there’s you’re getting sick, constantly listen to your body. There’s a reason why your body is acting this way. If you’re constantly sick, if something’s not feeling, right, if you’re fed up up your life, you have the power to change it. You just have to trust in yourself, you have to trust that that is not the life that you’re meant. If you have the desire, you feel like you’re meant for more, you are definitely meant for men for more. And when you start working, you will attract people that will help you get there. Yeah,

53:18
and you have to allow the hell to right because a lot of people, that’s where the fight is to, like, I need to do this by myself. You don’t know human, like, we need multiple people, like we’re all on the same team, we’re not against each other. And I’m assault Exactly. Like you can’t, you can’t really do it by yourself.

53:33
You can’t, you need to allow the help. But you also have to you have to be humble enough to listen, to listen to that to the advice the people and, and be careful who you’re taking advice from. Because if the person that’s giving you advice is not doesn’t live the life that you wish you want to live, then don’t listen. I mean, also be very, very, very cognizant of that. But just know that you, you can make it, but it’s going to require you losing a lot of people, especially your family members, especially. My dad didn’t talk to me for about three years, but you’re going to lose a lot of people. But how bad do you want it?

54:11
Big time? And how’s relationship with parents now, like after all this?

54:16
Now, it’s so much better. Obviously, we all have our hurdles, for sure. They’re not perfect. I’m not perfect, but it’s beautiful just to see our growth and now we give each other space, the space to be who we are. We have we have arguments like anybody else. But it’s normal, but there’s a lot of love and a lot of respect as to where our paths

54:37
are. The Love is back. Yeah, yeah.

54:41
The lovers bag, the love is back for sure. Awesome.

54:43
Okay, so we’ll sign it off with this. And I love giving kids the opportunity to just say 123 things like have your biggest tips that you can give to someone who wants to change their life, like make a better story. What would you tell them? What would you tell? I would,

54:57
I would tell them to look at four areas. Their life? How is your health? How it How are your finances? How is your relationship with people? Like, is there somebody that you haven’t talked to for forever? And start analyzing your patterns? What are those things that you continually continue to repeat constantly day in and day out? Ask the uncomfortable questions in those four areas of your life. Okay? If you have debt, there’s a reason maybe start checking the relationship you have with your parents. Relationships are very important. So you know, start, start looking at to those four, four areas of your life and start asking those hard questions.

55:35
Nice. I like that. So, man, if you need a coach who already got the answers to those things that can help you find those out. You got it right here. It’s awesome. So thank you. Any last final thoughts that you want to share with the audience? You did? so amazing. Your story’s so cool. I’m inspired. I’m pretty sure everyone else is going to be inspired. And this is cool that you could share with your peeps, your fam, your dad, like, just to hear your story. And I know we asked some different ones you’re not used. You’re like, well, no one’s ever asked me that. Yeah. So you got to experience that here. So I’m happy for you. I’m proud of you. And I just want to say like, keep doing you. Like it sounds like you’ve got it going on. And I just hope we really inspires someone to start because isn’t that the secret at the end of the day? Yes. It’s just that first step. Just start. Just get out there and take that first step and be okay with failing. That’s the one thing that I do love is when you fail, fail miserably learn but keep trying. Never give up. Never give Yes.

56:28
And one last thing be as a child, a child, well knows that only he can get a cup of water, put lemon and sugar and he can sell lemonade. Stop trying to get the perfect logo the perfect. Don’t just be as a child in business and just do it. Everything’s gonna get better as you continue to move forward but be as a child and just go out there and put it lemonade stand, but lemon and sugar and that’s it.

56:56
I love that people keep it simple. Do not overcomplicate it, go make some easy as damn lemonade and go sell it. And remember, you’re selling every day. Your kids are selling you when they want to go to McDonald’s. Your grandma selling you to say spend time with me. Everyone’s selling be comfortable with it and keep it simple. I love this advice. My deli. It’s been a pleasure. Oh my god. Have I learned a lot is like excited right now and I hope you are too. So Cassie is coming on the show and we’ll talk soon Okay. Okay, Bye, everyone.

 

1 Comment

  1. Mr Eddie Flores

    My biggest takeaway from this entrepreneur interview was the following:

    You can read all the books in the world. You could do 100 self-help retreat… But until you could look at yourself in the mirror and face yourself, true change cannot happen.

    Use the transcript to search for keywords like dark side, dad, 17, hard question, and tips

    Reply

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