Entrepreneur Interview #002 [Show Notes]
From Humble Beginnings
- Was lower middle class
- Parents went through divorce
- Brother became father figure
A Good Foundation
- Europe school system
- Taught important lessons
- Don’t take anything for granted
- Family sticks together
Struggles
- Came to USA and lost all friends
- First business burnout
- Family wanting a better relationship
- Mom, I wish you were home more
- Brain drain aka mental fatigue!
- As a woman, are you enough?
@LinaRugova
Lina | Business Strategist
🏗 Business #coaching
💻 Business #strategy
👩🏼🏫 Business #consulting 🚀 Business and Personal #growth
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https://atlasstart.com/
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Lina & Eddie Entrepreneur Interview Transcript
0:00
What is going on everyone and welcome to another another episode of Historia, or historia, which is Spanish for story. And today, I have an amazing person, an amazing person who goes by the name of Lena and we’re gonna start with her story and I’m gonna let her take it away. Because guess what, what better way than to learn from someone than to hear someone’s story than the person themselves. So we’re going to start it this time. From all the way at the beginning. We’re going to go in chronological order for you guys today. We start from the childhood phase, to see how she became the woman she is today. So without further ado, Lina, would you please take it away and talk to us about how it all started? and talk to us about your childhood? And we’ll pick it up from there.
0:54
Yeah, so I grew up in so I grew up in Kazakh Stan, it’s a former USSR, it’s a large country, it’s right next to Russia. So I’m European or Russian, I guess. Pretty much the same thing. I grew up in a what I consider large family Russian to like Italians, we try to stick to each other. We love family. I am I have a sibling, I have an older brother. So we have about eight years difference. And it’s funny the way their entire childhood been bad. Um, I don’t come from the best of family. So I wouldn’t say we were low income low class, I’d say probably middle class class. It was we’ve had everything we needed. We had enough.
1:44
But would you say you’re more lower middle class like,
1:47
yeah, middle class? Yes. Okay.
1:50
Because Yeah, there’s there’s levels. That’s what I tell people in middle class, there’s like, set middle class where you’re really comfortable. There’s lower middle class where you’re just above poor, like you’re still struggling paycheck to paycheck, and upper middle class, where you have some extra money to splurge, but you’re not quite wealthy. And you’re saying you were at the lower middle classes that
2:08
lower middle class,
2:10
take us through like as childhood? How did that make you feel being in that position? Kind of growing up? Like walk us through that to your mindset? Did you like that? Were you okay with that? Did that go over your head? How did that look? I mean,
2:21
I totally fine. Like I said, we’ve had everything we needed with no, my mom never put us in a position where we thought reading have something. We come from a traditional old, traditional old fashioned household where when my mom buys something, is just the ashes around the house, and then my brother, and I would try to figure out and try to find things. And like I said, we’ve had what we had was different, obviously, 35 years ago now than it is now. But like I said, I’ve never had a feeling like I was missing something. And the only reason is because probably we were living in a neighborhood where families were more like we were all the same. We have the same things. Some had less, some had more, but we’ve never looked at it that way that Well, my friend’s dad has an amazing job. And, and actually, my best friend’s dad was working for Coca Cola. And Coca Cola was like, an in deficit, like it was like the best thing ever was there. So we’ve never looked at those things. It never really occurred to me that we were low middle class.
3:32
Now, is that a cultural thing? Because we’re over in Europe at that time? Correct. So we’re over there versus United States. And you’ve had a chance to live over here for some time. What did you see in terms of the culture with family over there versus here?
3:45
Oh, a huge, huge talk about that. We value our family way more. And that opinions from war and traditions and culture. We try to help one another. We don’t sit there and think well, who has what? And what do people think of me? And what are people going to say? I don’t have this. We more if you don’t have this? I will give you this? And if I don’t have it? That’s okay. Because your family needs more than my family needs it.
4:15
Wow. So it sounds kind of like a status thing over here in the United States where it’s kind of and I could see it living here. Like we all do things for social media, like, Oh, I want to do this. But I do tend to see that we do forget about our families. We don’t have that culture and traditions like the only time we see each other on birthdays, thanksgiving and stuff. But I don’t see us breaking bread over lunch, sitting down all together as a family where they say, put down your phones. Let’s talk Let’s drink wine. Let’s enjoy ourselves. I got another coach result was that hard is over there. Absolutely. Absolutely. We
4:47
don’t get together only for the holidays. We get together all the time. And when we get together for holidays, our table is like a feast. It’s like you go to a restaurant and you haven’t a party. That’s how our holidays war. That’s what we’re seeing there. We don’t really have too many holidays, like I said, for us getting together, give us a reason we’ll get together.
5:10
I love that. Give us a reason. And we’ll get together. Now, what were one of your favorite traditions growing up, because I see that you’re already having a good start when it comes to family, families a big foundation for people going into business becoming successful. It sounds like your family’s pretty sound pretty tight. You got your brother, you guys got a decent relationship. I’m pretty sure you butt heads, but that’s normal. But yeah, tell me about like, one of your favorite family moments. What was your thing that you look forward to every time with the family? Was it lunch dinner? Was it a holiday? Was that?
5:41
No, we don’t. And I think a lot of people my age would say that more of what we look to is, is you know how we used to spend our days when we had no social media, no internet, no phones, we used to be outside with friends hanging out all day until like 1011 o’clock. Yeah, I think this is where we were we all miss we miss being together. Right now all of our families kind of separated. I’m here with us with my mom, my grandma’s in her country. My brother moved to Russia. So we all separate it. So it’s difficult now, which is why I think where I am right now or how I found my husband is the reason from where I came from. I was earning and looking for that.
6:24
And you’re getting back like that family, spirit, that culture, that togetherness, that oneness, that anti socialist, anti social media is everywhere. It’s just like pay attention. Let’s build the family. So that sounds good. Now always ask this. Were there any troubles in childhood? Because some people it doesn’t come to later, some people have young traumas. Was there anything in childhood that you would like to share with the audience where you think it would help them to? Was there a big struggle? Or a death in the family something crazy? That was a blow to the family at a young age? And
6:54
yeah, we did. So growing up, I probably didn’t know this. And this is a reason why my my brother and I have such an age gap. Yeah. My mom and dad were not in the best relationship. They get divorced when actually moved to us. But separation happened probably four or five years before
7:13
that. Okay.
7:14
Fortunately, my father’s an alcoholic, and it’s just one of those things. You know, addiction is addiction, you just can’t control you have to let them realize. So that was probably one of the things but I didn’t know about these things. While I was there. This hit me after my mom moved to us. And she moved when I was 10.
7:34
So that’s very interesting. Let’s not break past that. Because how did they do that to where you didn’t notice? Because most people when they’re having problems, they show it to their kids, at least here in the States. How How did that kind of stay hidden? I’m curious to
7:46
know, I don’t I don’t I’m here’s another fun thing, right when we come from, we used to live in one bedroom apartment, literally one bedroom. Wow.
7:54
Wow. So that’s harder to hide.
7:57
Yes. One. So the mom and dad would live in his living room. Below couch and my brother and I would share room. So how would you know this? I have no idea. I mean, for the most part is my being my father was a truck driver. So he was absent a lot. Okay. The thing is, there was no huge arguments going on. he would he would not lay a hand on my mom, he’s not a wife beater. He’s just an alcoholic. That’s a completely different, different story of, you know, addiction on your side of it. So I think because none, none of these impulsive arguments ever happen in front of us. Besides me, again, up until 10. I know we were together. And I guess we will be occupied with other things we didn’t pay attention to. Although my brother did understand this. He was my he was like a daddy’s boy. Okay, I’m a mom would tell my brother, my father that she would file for divorce. And my brother would say, Well, if you follow him, Go with him. And you’ve got a
8:55
daughter. So posted that very tight.
8:59
Gotcha. Okay. I think around this age real quick. So we’re 10. And what’s the biggest lesson you got so far up until the age 10? Because we’re gonna jump into the teenagers when we start experimenting and having fun. But 10 and under, what would you say is the biggest lesson that you got from your family or just living with them? Like, what what did you learn?
9:18
Look, you know, don’t take anything for granted. You never know where things may take you. Like I said, my child was happy. I was not deprived of anything. That’s awesome. And the only thing I miss is us being together all of us.
9:36
That’s awesome. So we’re definitely going to circle back to that at the very end of this thing, because I feel like that’s important for people to try to fight for today. Like if you can do that. So, okay, now we’re in the teenage phase. That’s the fun part. That’s when we start rebelling and trying to do our own thing, testing, hanging out with our own little policies and telling parents, they don’t know what they’re talking about, while you’re teenagers. What experiments failures awesome. revelations Did you have during those years, those golden years?
10:04
I’m not really a troublemaker per se. Women. We’ve all been through these things, you know, you hanging out and so 10 to 16 I think I was totally fine going to school doing homework hanging out with friends. My brother was taking care of a lot of me because my mom was removed. Yeah. So my brother being the father figure, he literally facing like a father figure because he was obsessed with me. My mom said he used to wake up early in the morning and go buy milk, like literally six o’clock in the morning, buy eggs just for me, he would take care of me. Wow, pick me up. So he did all these things that a father should do and absolutely adored it. So that’s
10:41
awesome. Did he take the role after that? Divorce, that’s when he stepped up to
10:46
that. As he stepped up, he went, he got a job. And he was supporting. So at that point, the point I was living with my grandmother, yeah. And he stepped up and he was taking care of us. And the best way he could, in addition to what my mom was already sending us from.
11:04
Awesome. How did that make you feel when he started showing those characteristics of like, I got you, Sis, like, how did that make you feel?
11:10
I mean, we always kind of war, you know, brother and sister. They’re always begging around to like, it’s totally normal. But we always were close together. We even had a same circle of friends where none no matter where we were hanging out, because of the age gap, we wouldn’t be out the same people. But he was hanging out with the Friends of those who had brothers and sisters, and I will be hanging out with that. So it’s kind of had it boys similar circles.
11:36
Awesome. That’s awesome. So man, it sounds so good. And you said that you weren’t a troublemaker and teenagers. Were there any crazy challenges? Because I know, you said that just over there versus over here. It’s a lot tougher though. I remember talking to you earlier, you were saying that it’s a different culture ship. Talk to about us. Talk to us about the toughness over there versus here. Because that’s part of a reason of your upbringing, for sure.
12:00
Yeah, totally, is completely different. I don’t know what they do now. But the way we were raised is completely different. I’m a law abiding citizen. But like I said, there were moments where I would sneak out of the apartment, I didn’t come back at all. And those are their, like, early teen years. Oh, and I don’t sleep over it. Somebody is friends without me telling my grandma. So the more rebellious things but nothing crazy, I would say. And the way you know, we were brought up in high school is. So the way we are raised in the way we are taught in schools are you have to be you have to know how to do everything on your own. So our high schools in high schools, we were all janitors we were cleaners, landscapers, so over some of the wood rotators. And we will be picking up leaves around the school during the grass. In school, we would have I think, what they call it hit economic classes or economic home classes, something like this, where we would have a rotation of classes between grade nine to 11. We don’t have 12th, grade nine to 11. Yeah. And we would have rotation of cooking class. So in class Carpenter class, and we will have to do this girls and boys. And I think this is what kind of helped me to become who I am because I’m not this woman who was raised to be a wife and a mother. Yeah, man to a woman to do whatever I wanted to do. So like this, these those skills helped me a lot, because when we bought our first house here with my husband, we remodeled the whole thing.
13:42
Yeah, that’s awesome. We really like everything that needs to be done.
13:46
We do it. And we need to do that over here. We need to have kids been janitors. Yeah. No, not a pickup. So boop. Damn it. That’s awesome, though. Because that skill sets I tell people I’m working with your hands experience. Other than just book smarts your whole life. That does a lot to your character. It really does. So you started tapping into those powers at that age? Did you know that? Or was that something that you’ve got later? Like, dad?
14:12
No, I didn’t. I didn’t know you know, as a teenager. You grown up and they make you do these things. It’s so annoying. I don’t know why we have to clean around the school. Why do we have to paint your painting the school to painting the hallways and everything. We were the janitors and maintenance and everything there
14:28
Damn.
14:32
So that’s why we have to do like, is this a punishment? Yeah. So we didn’t we didn’t understand any of this until later in life. And it’s like, oh, like how’s it that I know how to do this, but people similar to me on my age are women like they don’t even know how to pick up. Someone didn’t even know how to cook them. Like, are you kidding me?
14:52
That’s insane. That is insane. So that’s cool. That’s what out of all those What was your favorite class and why? Have all of them there have been more than one carpentry? Really carpentry got
15:04
into this. Yes. Because my husband and I have a one point tried to do refurbishing furniture was cool. It’s just so tedious. I’m not it. I don’t I’m not into tedious projects. Yeah. I think that was one of the cool things like I don’t have to, you know, repurpose a piece of furniture, whatever stand or a chair.
15:25
That’s awesome. That’s super cool. And it’s kind of is there. It sounds like it’s relaxing and escape for you where it’s kind of fun.
15:32
Yeah, if I had nothing else to do, I totally do that.
15:34
That’s awesome. See, and that’s the cool thing. That’s what I like about when people just throw a bunch of stuff at you, whether it be school, or anything in life, just experiment and pay very close attention to what you like, because you probably never would have learned that you like carpentry until you tried it. That’s why I tell people expose yourself to everything. So that’s cool. So what happened at age? I think we talked a little bit before you said around age 16. Now we’re coming to the US, right? That wouldn’t talk about that part of the story.
16:05
Yeah, my grandma thought I was too rebellious. And my mom said, You know what, I think I’m gonna bring my daughter here instead of me coming back home because this was supposedly temporary. Oh, earning money and coming back. And then she’s like, Okay, well, I met a man. And I think, you know, so he proposed to me, we want to get married. And I was thinking to permanently stay. Would you like to come? Of course, I said no, because I’m 16. I have, you know, tons of friends, hundreds of friends or friends. So there’s a lot of things happening. I just graduated. And she’s throwing this at me and saying, well, would you want to come? So my grandma thought because I’m too rebellious. And I hanging out with friends and not coming home sometimes. Tell her she’s like, you know what, this good idea. You gotta go. You gotta go. Um, so I can first two years were miserable, miserable. Not first. So first year, first year really hard. It’s really hard being thrown into something new.
17:06
Why do you think? Why do you think that is?
17:09
You know, my mom sent me to she’s been paying for classes. She’s been preparing me for this. That’s another thing that like she’s been preparing me for this, which isn’t one way was cool. And the other way was like, I really don’t want to do this. But you know, you’ve been thrown back there. We actually, in high schools, we have taught British English, not American English. And so 90% of Europe is learning British English, not American. And so you come here, and you don’t know how to conversate your stepfather’s Puerto Rican. So he speaks either Spanish or English here. And I think about Spanish. So the option you have is English. And you’ve never really met him. You haven’t seen your mom in six years. And you know, between 10 and 16, and a lot of things happening, not a child anymore, you would turn into a woman. Yeah. And you kind of lose that touch with your mom, you don’t have that connection that you used to have. Definitely. And so it was tough. It was tough, because I was thrown into. I felt like I was a foster kid. You know, wow.
18:11
That’s crazy. So the timing was just horribly off. Like, you felt that disconnect. There was that gap. And there had been six years that you hadn’t seen mom. So you’re like, Whoa, all of a sudden, I’m here. Now. What else were some of the struggles? That sounds like communication was the biggest one, maybe another language? What else? That’s crazy. But I’m actually
18:28
really, really happy that this happened. Because communication was a struggle. My mom had to throw me to high school because we they graduated 11th grade, he would graduated at 12. And they would not accept me anywhere else if I don’t graduate. So I’m like, Okay, I’ll try this. I will try. No. Um, so I went to school. It was really hard because all all the kids are speaking English. And I have no clue what’s happening. And I went to school in the Bronx, New York.
18:55
Oh, so we’re in New York, not the Bronx now. Okay. Before we get there, how tough was it back then?
19:03
Ah, no, you know, what wasn’t that tough as they make it to be?
19:07
To Really?
19:09
Yeah. Before I came to us asked my mom like, Mom, are you bringing me to people where they’re Russian people? And she’s like, yeah, yeah. She’s like, yeah, don’t worry. There’s not a bunch of Russian people you can find. Right? And so she brings me two wrongs. I’m like, Okay, I know what wrong says. And then my we go we register for school. I go and I check out the school and then like, I honestly to me, didn’t really bother me. I did see the difference between Of course which neighborhood we were we went in and that’s such a bad neighborhood. But still Bronx is a Bronx. Yeah. Bronx New York is so I’m being thrown into high school. It was difficult because the language I do a lot a lot of Russian kids actually surprisingly, really open. Teacher she was Russian and she was really trying trying to help me So I think with her hall with everything that’s been happening thing kind of picked up from it at that point, I’m like, whatever it is what it is, what am I going to do?
20:10
So I went through
20:13
the school process, and then I met my husband. However, you’re in the middle. Everything
20:21
damn falling in love y’all. What’s up girl? How did he get you? How did? How did you know that you really liked this guy? What did he do? Cuz you come here, and you have language gap. And now you’re going to the sky? Well, what did he do?
20:38
He has a similar story that I do well in, and they were immigrated from Kosovo. And and during then when they came in 1989, there was a war there were refugees. So he had a similar thing. The only difference is he came with his entire family. So he has three siblings, Mom and Dad and other family has been here already. So he has a similar background that me
21:04
you gravitate towards that is that like you guys talked about? Guys,
21:07
I didn’t know about that we would just randomly hanging out in a place where they all hang out, I guess, with my friends from high school. And, and that’s how we met. And again, at that point, we want to think about Where’d you come? How’d you come here was all about, you know, more girls meeting? You know?
21:24
So it was more interesting. It was there was no conversation of that. It was like, You look pretty nice. That hangout typed in like,
21:30
No, no, there was no conversation. But I knew that. Again, there were immigrants also from a different country. Yeah, you know, not no American boys, or you know, none of that. Gotcha. And then, and then everything else started pretty much from there.
21:46
So that’s, that’s where we’re gonna talk about now is like, obviously, who you became. But we do definitely need to lay out the foundation and paint the picture of who you were before, because in most stories, everyone talks about the end. But now we know all the stuff that you went through. And again, it doesn’t sound traumatic and horrible. But you know, going from one place to where you’re comfortable to where you’re at now, that’s a big trauma in itself. That’s so hard to do. So you did that. It sounds like you had a great family. And that’s so cool that you did that with your brother where he stepped up, and he had that awesome relationship with you. So now that we’re here, now it’s time to grow up and paint your story. Walk us through the next steps of your journey of your entrepreneurship. Like, when did you start doing your stuff? When did life really start? We could even skip college if you want.
22:30
Actually, so the way it started is I actually did start college because I’m a philomath. Like, I need to consume information I need to learn I need to read like I’m excited. I absolutely love school. But again, because I met my husband early on, I had a baby at 18 my first my firstborn. Okay, so when I did go to college, I couldn’t I couldn’t keep up with being working full time and being a mom and being a wife and it’s just too much a lot stuff that’s happening. So dropped out of college. And, you know, I didn’t have my mom didn’t go into this whole thing. You have to go to college, you have to do this, because one should pay for it. You know, way of like, well, if you select this college, I will pay for you. It was all me. I had to work for my degree, I had to work for expenses and tuition and everything. So and again, because we had a child, the daycare expenses, it was a lot of things going on. So I had to drop out of college. And but then it started. So my first job was as a receptionist at the medical office. Okay, um, well, it wasn’t my first job. My first job was like retail store that was literally for those who practice job don’t count though. Yeah. I actually got a job and it was working on like, I’m not doing this. I’m not a horse. I’m not working. So my my ambition and things started probably then because I’m like, what the first job at the retail store. So you knew right there. You’re like, no, this isn’t me. Like I’m not doing this. I need to do more, I need to do better. I need to find a I need to basically find a job where I don’t have to be on my feet. And also because I’m a social person and people person need to socialize with people. This this whole retail thing is just wasn’t cutting. So I left I found another job. Okay. And the doctor took good care of me she actually wanted to pay for my medical school. Wow.
24:36
And bribe you already. You’re doing Yeah, yeah.
24:38
Me, you know, I’m very driven and ambitious. So I know what I want. So if I get to do something and pick up real quick, I’m awesome at that. It’s like nice to be you know, if you give me a new task, I’ll figure out how to do it. And I’ll master that.
24:55
That’s awesome. That’s awesome. And does that come from all your upbringing? Kind of your life because it sounds like you’ve been thrown into some situations and with the education that you have, or is that more of a youth thing?
25:07
I think maybe it’s a me thing.
25:11
Like, my husband was thrown in the same situation, he didn’t have the same dreams that I had. So I guess it’s individual thing. It’s more thing because I knew I wanted one I wanted better. God, I was trying to work my way up to something better. So then it became a manager, and you had to figure out how to do that. And then I found another company that I wanted to work for. It was more of a project management, which I loved it, but I was bored, doing the same thing over and over and over. And from there, and it was all in the medical healthcare field. So from there, I actually opened my first medical billing company. Oh,
25:53
man. So how did that just pop in your head? Did you say I could do this better? And did you all those jobs that you had? Did you steal information? So you say, Oh, I know how to do it now. Yeah. Yeah.
26:06
And I’m like, you know what, I could do some myself, I can find people, I can charge them. I’m not gonna, I’m not going to go and work for somebody I want to work for myself. Awesome. Awesome. So, um, I started doing that. I was making good money. So that was, I think I’m 25 now and from 25 to 28. I’ve been doing this two, three years. Okay. are getting bored. I
26:32
go quick. In those two to three years. Were you happy at all like first time like, were you were crushed? Oh,
26:36
yeah. The first two years, I was excited because Mehta making 20 grand a month. And you know, we don’t have to do much of anything. We bought our first house without money. So it was amazing. But then I got pregnant with my third one. And I’m like, I can’t do this. I was working about 60 to 80 hours a week. Wow. Wow. I’m just hustling, hustling and trying to do more and trying to do better. Yeah. And at that point, I think I got drained out and burned out. And I couldn’t do it anymore. And I said, You know what, I can’t do this anymore. I’m not doing this anymore. So what was the stuff
27:10
that would burn you out? Was it non stop calls non stop meetings? What was the thing? What was the thing that
27:16
it’s a lot of it’s very serious. You know, you work with a lot of numbers, you work with a lot of providers, you work with a lot of medical insurance companies, you are constantly on a phone trying to figure out why this claim hasn’t been paid. Why is that patient page it’s a lot of work to learn, technical, analytical, logical, so it meant brain drain.
27:35
I tell my wife, there’s mental work and there’s physical work. There is a when people work with their hands and they do that all day. There is a sense of tiredness to it. But I tell people until you’ve experienced mental drain that’s a different tired like when you’re problem solving eight people’s different cases or like solving three people three different business owners problems. It is so tiring on your brain and I wish more people didn’t think like Oh, you’re just a graphic designer. But yeah, they’re working with six different clients and they have to get in each one of their heads. That mental drain takes a toll on you even after just like what you said a couple years. It’s really tiring. That mental drain is pretty rough. Did you feel that too? Like the mental drain
28:16
Oh, yes, absolutely. It was raining and this is why I said I said I can do more I don’t care how much money I’m making. I’m not doing it to this day my in laws and everybody’s telling me you got to go back to this I’m like this is killing like it almost killed me. I’m like young, like I used to have a postcard I think I have it somewhere on my Instagram with my my, my middle one at that point. I was like, Mommy, I wish you were home more often. And so and he was four I think five so one I think the next four or five you say something like this I’m like, Oh, this just you know, pause pause like we got to something needs to be done. So I fought I folded and and that was it. And I said I’m now going back doing How did I really feel when you read that?
29:03
Like as a mom, how did it really feel?
29:06
You know? break their heart or increase almost had that feeling? I’m not enough for them. I’m doing something wrong. I’m not there. You know, my husband’s very involved with them very involved like he plays with them because it’s three boys. So he plays trucks are down like he’s super super like 100% dad and here I am like 25% mom. I don’t have time to take them anywhere. I have time to do anything with them. I don’t have I am just burned out and drained and tired all the time. So like adult So to me, it didn’t hit me that much then until somebody else told me and said like, hmm, you know what I think maybe you need to be at home often because you hear all the time. Maybe it’s good for you to spend time with your family more. Ah, so that’s a couple.
29:53
It took a couple conversations for you to fill that for sure. That’s interesting because I feel the same way. Like I love that percentage that said My wife is 100% mom, and I’m like 25%. Dad, like when you’re working so much you get lost in the work. But yeah, you’re right when other people tell you, they kind of like turns your ears up like, oh, wow, I never you just get lost in your work. You really are trying to make it work.
30:14
Yeah, I know, I’m a workaholic, I love working. If I don’t do anything, I get bored. And if I get bored, or something is about to happen, and no one is going to like that.
30:23
Yeah.
30:24
Oh, my husband’s very supportive. Very, very, he will let me do whatever I want to do. I’m there all the time helping me and encouraging me and pushing me to do it. So even at that point, I’m like, what, I’m doing something wrong. He’s like, no, no. Are you doing everything fine. And were you there? And you bring money. And you know, that’s, that’s what they need. So don’t worry about the little they’re not gonna remember this
30:45
man, you have an awesome husband. Because imagine having that husband that kind of fights you the whole step away? How much time would that be? Like, it sounds like, he has your back. And he says, Go for it. And he’s sometimes pushing you when you don’t want to be pushed like
30:59
this like that. Yes.
31:01
That’s awesome. Man. That’s a secret power right there that you’ve got. If anyone’s listening out there, pay attention to that. Find a good partner because, honestly, that is so underrated today. Most people want to do it just for the looks, or just for the I’m gonna say the wrong reasons. Like just because Oh, they have good connections, or they have a lot of money or Oh, they’re beautiful. No, no, no, no. Find someone who truly gives a shit about you, who truly has your back, and they’ll help you leaps and bounds. That’s my wife right there. And it sounds like your husband. Right. That’s so cool. I’m happy for you. That’s really, really awesome. And how many kids total? And how long have you been
31:36
together? We’ve been together 18 years. So Mike,
31:40
you’re almost 20 Yeah, that’s awesome. Congrats. Yeah, I wish more people stayed together and fought and sounds like you pick the right one. So that’s really, really cool.
31:48
Okay. It wasn’t it was easy. The first couple of years were young, you know? Well, yeah.
31:52
You started very early, early on, the kid popped out really early. So that must have been tough. Really.
31:58
We made it work. We figured out what works and what doesn’t what takes him What takes me so we kind of we had all boundaries. So you know, I let him do what he wants. He lets me do what I want. So at the end of the day, we don’t have I’m a decision maker in the house. Yeah. I usually make the decision before I say anything to anyone, but then actually go to him and ask what is his opinion on a certain subject? That’s super pavement oil? It made up my mind. I’ll still ask
32:24
well, that’s good. Just so you show him like to give him a chance to speak his voice. You know, that’s, that’s really a very, very important communication, just instead of always feeling like, Oh, we did this again. I didn’t have no say. Just give him a say. That’s cool. That’s really, really cool. Okay, sweet. So we got that business. We’re burning out. We’re tired. We’re over what’s on the crosshairs. Next, what are you trying to do? What’s going through your mind now?
32:46
So I think another thing with me being burning out and getting drained is I get bored with doing one thing over and over, that I need to fulfill. Whatever that is earning is I don’t know what I what happens in what stage it happens, where I’m like, Okay, I’m bored. I’m tired. I don’t want to be doing this anymore. What’s next? So then, at that point, I start pivoting. I’m like, What am I what what, what am I good at what I’ve been, what is it that I’ve been doing? that people were telling me? Like, you know what, maybe you should look into this?
33:16
No.
33:16
So my next thing is, which is actually stuck to me for a while, so in five years ago. So I folded in 2014 ish. And I started this new company. Now I do consulting only, which is super easy. You go you give, you know, advice to somebody. And and it’s pretty much that’s it? It’s very easy. That’s awesome.
33:47
So is that where we are picked it up now is the consulting. So that’s when you’re saying hey, what am I good at? You’re not you’re a people person. That’s what we talked about in the past. And we’re basically at that point now where we’re saying, what else can I do? Oh, when you did consulting, what did you do? Was it more business coaching? Was it more social media marketing? What were we doing during that time? You know,
34:07
I say I’m a business growth strategist. And I added business coaching about three years ago, I wanted to so much of my clientele, basically, I have two types of clientele, those who just starting out and those who are in business and kind of stuck in their own way to go or want to add something. And my problem with them was, okay, give you all this ideas, what are you doing with it? And like three months later, like, what have you done? Not much, I didn’t really have time. Why? So those problems and obstacles were kind of like what’s going on with them. I went into business coaching training. So I started understanding and learning more about business coaching and the mindset to confidence, limiting beliefs, like what’s happening with a person inside that they kind of stuck, you give them everything you need to do To be successful, and they just stuck doing nothing, you paid all this money and you just you still where you were three months ago. That’s why I went into business coaching, I went to training, and then I’m like, Okay, now I get it. So the way I work with them now is holistically I approach the problem with then basically, we start internally, and then go externally. So in order for your business to be successful, you have to be successful, right? your mindset has to be changed your confidence have to grow. You have to remove all yourself, those limiting beliefs and basically start from zero. You So basically, transformation of you, and the success of your business.
35:41
Now, where did you pick up the best I’m gonna say, training when it comes to working within I call what you just described, working within the person self, because at the end of the day, I always tell people, the business relies on the business person. Yes, the business is doing bad, it probably has to do with something about the business person. So out of all that stuff that you just described, where would you say your best training was? Where did you pay for that, like, out of your hard earned cash? Did you have a guru? Where did you learn the best lessons?
36:14
I paid for everything myself. I read a lot of books, I attended some Tony Robbins seminars, and so ajeet to this mind Valley, ever coaching, I, you know, been looking at that. So there’s a lot of little components that have been putting it together. But it’s more of not how to do this, because we all have the concept of coaching how to do this, but more why this is happening. So more into behavior and psychology, more analytics, kind of understanding. You know, why person is where they are? Why they stuck? what’s what’s kind of what’s there, what’s not letting them past that certain obstacle. Gotcha.
37:01
Gotcha. Okay, cool. So now that we’re doing that, how thriving his business today? How, how is it looking where you’re at right now? Are you happy? out of everything that you’ve done? It sounds like you’re super happy about this? What’s going on through your head? And how’s that look?
37:18
All right, yes, I am happy only because you know what, I don’t really put too much effort into all of this. If a client comes, I give 100% to what I can and help them. But also downtime I have. I can be with my family at anytime I have way more time to do whatever we want. Especially now during COVID. We could be outside more often we like, what a month or a month and a half. We just picked up and drove to New York from Texas. That’s 26
37:48
Oh, that’s a trip.
37:50
Yeah. So like, we know, I’m very spontaneous, you know, something pops into my head, we’ll just go ahead and do it. And my husband will do the same thing. And my kids are totally fine with it. Um, so it’s, you know, I can do whatever I want. But I’m also have a very entrepreneurial mind where like, I have a lot of different ideas a lot.
38:12
And let’s talk about you. Because remember, one of the things that I told you before the show is, after all that after what we just talked about, from start to finish from being a kid to a teenager to a young adult to now, how would you describe yourself? Like, that’s what we want to get to know you a little bit more like, what words would you use to describe yourself? Just go ahead and let us know more about you. Like, what would you say,
38:34
Oh, I’m very ambitious. I am driven and ballsy enough to say what is on my mind?
38:42
Where does that ballsy thing come?
38:45
Where’s that come from?
38:46
It’s probably in New York, where you know, it’s it’s a very fast paced environment, and you have to get in the mind of somebody where, you know, you have 30 seconds to convince them of something. So I’m pretty much go ahead straight up and tell them how, what and where, and instead of playing around,
39:04
like that straight shooter, you’re strict when it comes to that. Well, that’s crazy. Cuz working within, there’s a lot of finesse. Like, you got to kind of have to, like, you know, play nice when we’re talking about feelings. And also, how do you do that while you’re ballsy? That’s tricky.
39:18
You know, I my friends back. My co workers used to call me go getter, okay,
39:24
she’s like, She’s like a bolt. She’ll go and get it.
39:28
He’s like, Go, Go get it.
39:30
Again. When I want something. I’m pretty much straightforward. I go in and say it or go ahead and up. So there’s two parts of me. I’m an active listener. So would listen,
39:40
though. That’s the secret.
39:42
Yeah. form my opinion. And then I would say and so if somebody comes to me, and ask me a question, I’ll think about it, but I’ll answer right away. I’m going to say no, it’s not going to work. And a lot of clients know me because of that. They know I’m going to say no, right away. They call me I’m like a negative Nancy, but reality when I say no, because I know the outcome of that decision. Wow. So it’s just as if, you know, if you bring this to me and it told, you know, some because I’m saying no, because I don’t think you know, because whatever, you know, in their head that’s happening, because I know it’s not gonna work.
40:20
That’s cool. You know what, I think that’s a golden lesson right there that a lot of people tend to pass up on is they try to be so nice. Try to be so PC politically correct that there’s a lot of Yes, men a lot of Yes, people. And sometimes you got to tell people, No, you’re wrong. No, that’s not gonna work. Because here’s the funny thing you have experienced, some people don’t, when that person with no experience tries to act like they know, but you know, for a fact that it’s wrong. Standard ground. I like that you do that. I like that. You say, No, it’s not gonna work. That’s like some people. When I used to do Facebook ads, there is this, this golden lesson that I learned is just this. If your offer sucks, it’s not going to work. Yes, I see so much people trying to advertise their website, their business, sell people stuff on social media. And they’re like, hey, would this work? Any if we tweak it? And I go, No. And they get kind of mad. They’re like, why wouldn’t it work? Can we make this work? I was like, No, social media works with just one thing. It’s a great offer. That’s to get to know you don’t these people do not know you. So I like telling them to stand their ground. So yeah,
41:19
okay. So, you know, a lot of these people that think it’s going to work is because they buy their bias, and they are their own customer. So they think if it’s gonna work for them, it’s gonna work for everybody. So they’ll put the glasses on the bias glasses on. And they kind of, you know, stuck in this where, you know, well, I like it. So and, you know, I am my own buyer’s persona. So I think that’s gonna work. But in reality, you know, and do it. You know, I don’t just say No, don’t do this one,
41:47
though. So I’m going to give a reason why exactly, I tried.
41:51
And I try to figure out how to get to the point of where they want to go. But first, let’s try this and that, then we’ll go to that.
41:57
Yeah, that’s super cool. I like that. And I could see you being super helpful to people by doing that by actively listening by telling them no explaining to them and then giving them a potential solution, and then balls in their court. So that’s really, really awesome. Okay, so now out of your whole story out of everything that you told us, what’s your favorite part of your story? And why was it that postcard? Or was it that that Rude Awakening? Was it meeting your husband? What’s your favorite part of your story and why I think my favorite
42:24
part is being in a family. I think this is what I strive to, to have always because once you know, once I left my country and came here and miss them. This was just me and my mom and my stepfather and just three of us. And so when I found my husband, and we know, we were talking, he comes from a big family, we were talking about kids, I’m like, we’re gonna have a lot of kits. Because I want to have a table at the end of the column too. And we all having this huge gathering. So I’m like, Well, now kids having kids and they kids are having kids, and we’re gonna have gathering and we’re gonna have, you know, fun like, what I guess we’re both into seniors. So that’s like, Sue says, Yeah, I think sense of family is what my whole
43:06
takeaway was the ideal number of kids be if you were to have it your way. How many? Five? Haha, that’s an army right there. Five is an army. That’s super, super cool. That’s really, really awesome.
43:16
Okay, we have three and I feel like
43:18
we already know. And that’s the thing today I feel with all the stuff that we’re going through and how kids are growing up so fast. It’s a different level. I always joke with like older people, they, they were allowed to have more kids, because there was less going on in the world today, the world moves so fast. It’s ridiculous. One thing could get outdated in like two weeks, three weeks, it’s back then things stayed the same for a long time. So it was more predictable. So you can get away with a lot more. So it’s just rough for
43:45
them than it is now. Definitely.
43:47
I agree. I agree. So now it’s time for the whole three piece nuggets. So out of somebody’s wanting to try to better their story, someone want to try to do better in life, what three pieces of advice would you give them and why?
44:01
You know, I strive for those kids who make it in a world who have a kid who comes from a low income and goes and pushes themselves just because you came from low income doesn’t mean you have to, you know, turn to crime and drugs and try to push yourself try try to do try to do different things do better. You know, try to have a bigger dream, have a vision and be able to do
44:29
the dream big and have vision and it doesn’t matter where you come from. I like that that’s a good nugget, what else you got?
44:35
from whatever plan you have to have a plan and you know, that goes without
44:39
you. Right?
44:40
Even if it’s not in writing, like
44:44
I like the vision board part. I don’t do it physically. Like I have a board that I bought, I don’t put anything my vision board is in my head. I know what everyone so I have my I have goals. And so I know what I want to achieve. I want to go so those that’s my vision board. It’s inside me. So have a plan, have a have a plan, have an exit plan, have a strategy for everything in life, marriage, relationships, business, this is your one thing that’s actually going to work, it’s never going to go as planned. And it’s never goes from you know, here to there. So
45:20
right. So that’s that’s life what you just did this this shape, that’s life. And I think what you said as a piece of advice number two is so good is planning as much as you can. I know you can’t plan everything in life. But you seriously could plan how your marriage is gonna look like how you’re going to communicate, you could have a plan on how you’re going to get that house, how are you going to start that business? It’s just most people don’t want to take the time to like, plan it out. Because I have to get a pen and paper I have to think, yes. But when you do that it just leaps and bounds, leaps and bounds when you do it. It’s ridiculous. So that’s number two. I like the first one to about the vision and all that and dreaming big. What’s your final piece of advice that you got for people where you’re like, you need to know this.
46:01
Be humble? And then don’t take anything for granted?
46:05
You know, back to a family days, huh? Yeah, I’m saying when you talk about them, whatever is
46:10
throwing you away, just take it as is and one day at a time and keep going. Don’t
46:14
give up. Keep pushing. Definitely.
46:18
Awesome. And then the coolest part the coolest part? How can people get in touch with you? where’s the best place where people could see your content to get to know a little bit more about you and what you do? Where’s the
46:30
cam? who I am and I say how I am I don’t really hang out much anywhere except LinkedIn. But the best way to get in touch is just shoot me an email. So go to my website, shoot me an email, and I’ll I’m on my phone. 24 seven. So I have
46:42
a worker. Yeah,
46:44
I have WhatsApp installed. So like, you know, whatever you guys need texts, email, I’ll answer probably right away.
46:51
That’s awesome. That’s awesome. Well, it was awesome having you on the show and telling your history. Ah, that’s a story after story. It’s so cool to hear people’s beginnings from different parts of the world. You started over there. Now you’re here you’re kicking ass taking names. And it’s cool that you do it by listening to I’m so happy that you found awesome husband, that you started a business and I get what you’re saying when you say that you don’t have to put a lot of effort because you did something that was draining where you’re like, this is taking my essence, my soul. And now you’re like, you know what, I actually could hang out with my family and I’m not tired. So that’s another lesson that I think I want to unpack for you is out of everything that she did. That’s one thing that you guys should pay very close attention to what she did is she found something that she liked that didn’t take too much energy. Just because something doesn’t take a lot of energy doesn’t mean you should get paid a lot of money. And it shouldn’t it that that energy shouldn’t equal dollars. It’s the value that you provide. And my god people, she provides value. She listens, she solves problems and she tells you know when you need to hear and helps you come up with a plan. that’s valuable shit in this world because everyone’s quick to say yes. So having that said, thank you so much for coming on out. I definitely would want to hang out with you some more. definitely gonna stay connected so we could keep in touch. And we’ll get you all dialed in and good to go. This is Mr. Eddie Flores signing out. Lena. Awesome again, having you here. You guys. Have a good day and we’ll catch you guys soon. Okay.
Can anybody out there relate to brain drain? Or how about feeling like a 25% of parent? I know for a fact that I feel that these days… Thank goodness my wife is supportive 😥